It’s always good to cite a few philosophers; don’t know why but here we go: Socrates, Descartes, Pascal, Spinoza, Sartre, Kant, Schopenhauer...
I never eat breakfast in the morning, but since I’m poor, it’s not like it’s by choice.
The extension of human life expectancy is great... except if your life is shit.
Man believes in aliens... but aliens don’t believe in mankind.
Thanks to nuclear energy man is able to blow up the world... but what is even worse that he is actually capable of doing so.
An artist just sold a portrait of his dog. That doesn’t surprise you, a dog that can paint...?
I learned how to swim at the pool. Luckily, I learned on the first day, because I was never able to go back.
In my case sex lasts about 5 minutes... including the bucket of water at the end.
Every zoo animal’s dream is to visit a prison.
The dog living on the moon was feeling really lonely... so he dug a few holes.
He who has succeeded in life does not own a watch, but time itself.
It’s very hard to run in the snow, but once you have figured out how to do it, you realize that you have just lost a lot of time learning something really useless.
A dog’s life is very condensed. I had my rebellious teenager years at 2, my midlife crisis at 7, but ever since I’m 9 years old I think that “…it was never like that in my day!".
In order to go from point “a” to point “b”, you had better decide if there actually is a point in going to “b”... otherwise, you might as well stay where you are in the first place
God was the first terrorist: after all, he made the first Big Bang!
A dog who is howling on the grave of his master is actually just mourning the loss of all those bones.
If your master abandons you on the highway, just cross to the other side. Because it’s very likely that the S.O.B has to drive back the other side to get home…!
A sled dog cannot only mark his territory; he can even leave his name and address.
He who feeds his dog shall not complain that he has to pick up his shit.
Hunting is not a fair sport at all since the animal has no rifle to defend itself. So, in order to make it fair, the hunter should down a few shots before…
A shark sees a surf board like a buffet breakfast.
Dogs hate all mailmen except for one: Santa Clause.
Loneliness is the ultimate condition of today’s society. I was just talking about it the other day with... with no one actually...
Something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world... but that’s nothing in comparison to the flutter of a mosquito’s wings when you are trying to sleep!
Man is an absurd creature: to tie a dog to a pole so that it doesn’t run away is understandable, but a bike...??
Cerberus, who guards the gates to the Underworld, has three heads... at least like that he always has someone to talk to.
Rich people who own a Doberman put up a “Beware of the dog!” sign on their front gates. Rich people who own a Chihuahua put up a sign which reads: “Please don’t step on the dog!”
My master wanted me to go hunting for truffles... so I brought him to the market.
Of course there were dogs in the time of dinosaurs! Who else would have buried all those bones?
Future archeologists discovering the bodies of this century will be questioning the use of all that silicone...
There are dogs that are so wrinkly that you have the feeling that they are about to drip onto the floor.
On the contrary to what you would think, humans actually do consider the feelings of future generations. They consider them to be so intelligent that they will solve all the problems that they are leaving behind.
Which came first: the hen or the egg? Well, that all depends... if it’s a race, I would bet on the hen.
A kite is like a butterfly on a leash.
One day a sheepdog gave me a foolproof tip to fall asleep. Unfortunately, I just can’t remember what it was...
Avalanche rescue dogs find bodies in the snow; police dogs do just the opposite.
A Dog is Man’s best friend... so would you really castrate your best friend?
There is no creature more faithful than a dog... unless you count the dog flea.
Humans are strange: they go to restaurants where a clown makes their meals and no one finds that strange!
The sea exists so that stars can admire themselves as well!